7.30.16

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I’m actually writing this tonight while watching Parenthood and babysitting for the Barbie family. If you’ve watched Parenthood, please talk to me about how incredible it is because I cry during almost EVERY episode. I’m in the middle of season 6.

My SIL started nannying for the Barbie family this month! Which is literally so incredible because they are within walking distance from our houses (remember she lives with my parents and I live right next door to my parents), I won’t lose out on weekend babysitting because Barbie mom loves me and SIL wants to be home weekends with baby W anyway, and SIL working means I may not have to fork over my entire check to my family. Sorry that it’s been passed on to you, SIL.

SIL and I have been getting so close. She is so similar to me. She is quiet. She would rather dislike something quietly and have everyone else be happy rather than say something and have everyone fuss over her. She is sassy, but only after she’s comfortable with you. She’s so cute. She’s so funny. She’s a great mom. We connect so well, on so many levels. I love when I can get her to really, really laugh. I sound like I have a crush on her but I think I’ve just finally learned to appreciate people for who they are rather than focusing on disagreements. I just want to protect her from everything. I miss her when we aren’t together!! I love SIL seriously, so much. My little brother (her husband) can be SUCH AN ASSHOLE but I can see the love she has for him in her face, even when she’s complaining about him. He deserves that. He’s a jerk, but he deserves the love she gives him.

She gave me the most beautiful nephew I could ever imagine having. He smiles at me sometimes like I’m the coolest thing ever. I can get him to coo and grin like no other (except mom and dad). He loves my hair! I can get him to sleep so easily. I can’t believe my baby nephew is already 2 months old. 9 weeks last week! He’s growing way too fast.

I’ve been good, happy. I miss Bear more than anything. He’ll be back with me in September, but it feels so far away. He’s the best parts of me! I think he’s going to be moving in with me in September but we haven’t talked too much about that. I just feel that’s where we’re headed. 🙂

I’ve really been buckling down on losing weight and getting healthy. While I by no means look any more than “chubby” I’m considered obese. It’s been kind of hard but I am starting to see differences in my face and my stomach. I haven’t been telling Bear about it because I want him to be so impressed when he sees me.

I’m literally sobbing at Parenthood right now. sobbing.

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7.18.16

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I always want to update this and then I just forget by the time I have time!!

Best thing that has happened this month was – my anniversary with Bear!! He loved his open when letters with the pictures and love coupons and told me I “won” our anniversary. He got me Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on Bluray and Silver Linings Playbook on bluray, plus 2 CDs. One with 2 of The Menzingers’ albums on it and the other with Lemuria and Sorority Noise. I loved it! I love getting gifts that make me feel like the person giving them really knows me.

I know I told everyone in June that he says he wants to be with me forever.. and I really felt that during our trip. Our first night together after two months of nothing was so amazing. He took his time with me, really appreciating my body and really kissing me slow and intentionally (instead of me kissing him!). I loved it.

B decided we’re not going to live together because she thinks I should force Bear to get a job before he’s ready so that we can split things 1/3 1/3 1/3. But I think that’s dumb and I’m not going to force an already anxious person to get a job when I know how much he struggles. It would be so cruel. I love him more than I want to move out. SO. Back to ground 0. We struggled with each other for a little bit but we have recently made up and everything is okay now.

I’ve noticed that since I got rid of my desktop I’ve been a much more social person, like when it comes to family and stuff. I spend my full weekends at my parents’ house and I don’t feel restless and bored as often so I think I’m happy that I got rid of the computer. All I need is my low-functioning old laptop 🙂