6.1.15

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Things are much better now than they were when I posted last time. It took a while for things to heal between Bear and I but things feel back at 100%. I went to see him for our Lemuria concert at the end of April and the night before I left, he asked if he could come back with me. We talked so so much during our time apart and communicated a lot of things regarding how we speak to each other, and even sex-related things. He even said he was ready to give me oral but I am in noooo way ready for that, even still. I’ve told him that and he hasn’t tried to push it.

He’s still here with me and he will be until after our anniversary in July. I didn’t get the day off from work so he’s staying here until then so we can spend the day together. I have a month to figure out what to get him. Less time if I want to get if offline. I just don’t know. I’ve never been good at gifts and he always seems to nail it. I love him so much and I want the anniversary to be perfect. Little worried about that.

Been working a lot lot of hours. I wish I could go back to school so I can do something other than this but even the idea of school still stresses me out so much that I know I’m not ready. Maybe next year.

Chick and I aren’t really on good terms anymore. Ever since she came and got the cat after her dad passed away in a freak sky-diving accident, she’s only spoken to me in necessity. She and Soya intentionally tweet about being together to upset me. I know they do, but I don’t even care anymore. Sure, my feelings are hurt and the only friends I have are work acquaintances and Bear and Chrys, but who cares. Just.. who cares. Don’t need people like them around really. They just make my life harder.

We got my mom a bunch of giftcards for mother’s day and she loved them. It was all my idea but I got all my siblings together and no one took individual credit for anything and I’m so glad it made her so happy. I wish I could give my parents the whole world.

Been getting lots of bad migraines lately on top of having a UTI and bad allergies. Not sure what’s going on to give me these migraines and I’m worried about it but also terrified of the doctor so for now, I’ll avoid it. Adulting, right?

Bear and I have spent the whole day doing puzzles and watching musicals. We’re at the end of Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang now. It’s been such a good day. Really love this guy.

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